beanie baby worm blog

The Manicurist’s Daughter came into my life at the perfect time. I had just come home from traveling overseas for a week, and being there for my family as we navigated some health issues my grandpa is going through. He helped raise me in a lot of ways, I will always be “baby” to him, the nickname he still calls me at times, albeit less frequently. I am still unable to completely articulate the grief I felt into words, the frustration and pain and acceptance or lack thereof is something that I know has changed who I am and how I experience life. It was almost difficult for me to believe that the pain I was feeling is universal, that everyone must come face to face with health issues, death, suffering of loved ones or oneself at one point or another in their life. I suppose experiencing heartbreak is similar, it is unimaginable how you navigated life before. It’s not exactly regret (i.e. “I wish I never had to feel this way”), but almost a more nuanced understanding of the world, our pa

This was everything I was expecting and hoping for. I read Three Women earlier this year, and knew immediately that Taddeo would continue to shock me, make me contemplate, sit in uncomfortable feelings. Her writing is unflinching, non-judging. She truly gives her narrators space to truly show who they are, baring themselves for the world to see, whether they like it or not. I knew I had to read Animal , which is fiction while Three Women was a narrative nonfiction book.  This gives everything that My Year of Rest and Relaxation thinks it gives. The narrator is what I imagine to be the final boss of female anguish, rage, pain. This novel even argues that female rage at its core is nothing more than pain gone unnoticed, frustration gone ignored, trauma gone sour. I wanted to read about female rage, and was presented with that and so much more. This novel’s plot is nonlinear, it jumps from memory to present and vice versa, from stating events to deep reflections, playing with these diff

I read these at separate times, however they read as a direct continuation of one another because they’re essay collections with similar themes of being a woman and just recalling some of Ephron’s career and life. I found the essays charming, easy to read, and fast-paced. She’s witty, relatable, and ultimately I really respect her and her work, such as writing the movies Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail which I’ve watched with my family. I’m not a huge fan of romcoms, but I admire strong career-driven women and I feel that Ephron embodies that girl boss energy. But what do I know? I has no intention of picking up I Feel Bad About My Neck , because I read I Remember Nothing late last year and wasn't particularly affected or impacted, despite finding it mildly entertaining while reading. I didn’t DNF, which I would’ve done if I didn’t care for it at all. But I was doing some editing for my school’s literary magazine, and the contributor I worked with wrote about when she w

I loved this book, and it was one of the highlights of my reading year. It truly encapsulates why we read for entertainment while also providing another big reason for reading: learning. Because I was hugely entertained by the sharp and fast-paced writing of the book, the high energy, high stakes feeling of being a chef or cook, the camaraderie and rapport amongst people in the industry, the love and passion for food, the hopelessness and frustration of being in such a difficult business. How it seems to attract the misfits, the weirdos, but the good and ugly in people seem to shine brightly in the midst of service and the epic journey through the industry that Bourdain takes his reader on. I’ll be honest, I don’t really know much about what goes on in a professional kitchen. My knowledge of cooking comes from YouTube videos of how to be a home chef, the tinkering with recipes I do in my own kitchen, the experience I accumulated since I was a child slicing ham and apples to put on top

I had no idea what I was getting myself into with this one. The cover did not catch my attention despite me knowing of this book's existence for a while, so I never bothered to read the inner flap until I saw it on a secondhand shelf. But I’m glad I read it despite being traumatized after. Honestly, this book is so difficult to read. It’s a book written by a woman, for women. I sort of agree with reviews that complain about its false advertising. This book isn’t about “desire” so much as about how abuse shapes desire and actions in a woman’s romantic relationships, also that the stories are almost all about white women living in American suburbia. But I don’t agree that these women’s stories are therefore less valid or valuable to understand and learn from, or that discussing their stories takes away from marginalized women’s experiences. Yeah, much work needs to be taken and done to create a more equitable environment to discuss abuse and sexism of all forms and from all groups, b

I have a bit of history with this book. I first read it when I picked it up off the new release shelf at my library, I honestly just thought the cover was cute. I had never heard of the author and wasn’t online enough to know that this was a popular or to have any expectations going into it. So I read it and didn’t really understand it as a teen, but shrugged and moved on with my life. Now that I’m on this platform and seen everyone reading and discussing it, I decided to revisit this one and hope to garner more from it now that I’m older and could understand the themes Murata had been hoping to convey. I suppose this novel is a bit like Animal Farm . Yes, you can read it without understanding the historical context, the meaning and message Orwell was trying to convey. That’s how I read it the first time. But this time, I could understand and see that the protagonist is living in a sort of oppressive Japanese society. Her potential autism and the sexism she faces. The quirkiness, her s

Reading In Watermelon Sugar felt akin to reading poetry for me. It made no sense. One of my English professors has told me that poetry isn’t about plot, characterization, storylines, or the like. It’s about how it makes you feel when you read it. So after reading this short novel, I mused about how that’s likely what the author was intending for the reader to take away: a feeling. Perhaps. This is just a hunch, as there is a plot, but one that didn't make much sense to me, and the characters are very flimsy as well. There aren't many themes or motifs. Descriptions of wacky characters and creatures, a sky that’s different colors depending on the day, strange happenings and history in a small community, a unclear line of thought, and not very linear story. I didn’t dislike the process of reading it though, so I suppose I can't say I hated it. I just felt so utterly ambivalent. The pacing was quick, and it was very fast to get through.  Unfortunately, similar to my relationsh

I visited the location where the last scene of Catcher in the Rye takes place. I went during the summer, but I thought it’d be appropriate to share right before Christmas, like in the book. Does  Catcher in the Rye  count as a Christmas book then? That’s a stretch, maybe a holiday one at most. I never thought I’d say this, but I love this book so much. Much more so after rereading it for the first time this year. I caught so many more nuances that my tenth grade self didn’t. I’ve found that I don’t really take time to appreciate literature and allow it to resonate deeply within me when I’m being forced to overanalyze it for meaning and symbolism for academic purposes. I love the overarching theme of avoiding growing up. What else would you expect from me, a Little Prince enjoyer? The fear of losing childlike wonder, of growing up and becoming like the rest of the boring phony adults who go around pretending things are way more important than they are. Holden is a grade-A brat. He goe

I’ve been feeling very conflicted about Backman lately. And to clarify, I’ve read A Man Called Ove, Britt-Marie Was Here , and Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer . Besides perhaps the latter (I suspect it’s because of its short and punchy length), I haven’t been very impressed. They have become a bit of an NPC-type book on my shelf—a sort of easy read that’s predictable. I just feel that they won’t have a lasting influence or impact on me. This was further proven by my venture into reading Anxious People for the first time and DNF’ing it a hundred or so pages in. As you can tell by the triple digit page at which I halted, officially, I had strong intentions of finishing what I started, once and for all. But I am not the strongest solider. It was truly unenjoyable in every way for me. I didn't like any of the characters or plot or even the storytelling. I truly and honestly gave up on Backman at that point. (Update: I've also tried to read My Grandmother Asked Me

I did not enjoy Book Lovers nearly as much as I had hoped when I picked it up, hoping to cure my case of FOMO from seeing everyone and their mom post about Henry on this platform. I promise I’m not a contrarian. I really wanted to like this a lot, and I’ve heard nothing but good things about Emily Henry. So, I had to know what’s up with Henry’s work because I am a self-proclaimed romance connoisseur and I have quite a few romances under my belt. But honestly, I was pretty bored by this. But I think my bar is just set pretty high. I didn’t feel particularly attached to any of the characters, and the story was kind of forgettable. It was cute but didn’t touch me deeply or make any sort of mark on me. It dragged a bit, and the ending was a tiny bit rushed. I didn’t find the male lead swoon-worthy or the female lead very interesting. I suppose there’s some emotional back and forth in the story, so there was a bit of tension and such, but nothing really monumental. I think that the new age

Any book that discusses the Asian American condition is a win in my book. I really liked how this started off; it was emotional. Hong unearths so many memories of trauma and microaggressions, and similar experiences I’ve had, as she discusses her upbringing as a Korean American and her outlook on her experience with Asian immigrant parents. Each essay was punchy and really tied back to the title: Minor Feelings. It truly encapsulates the feelings that come with being Asian American—marginalized, but not that marginalized; traumatic, but not that traumatic. I completely understand where she’s coming from, and it’s so difficult to put into words because it feels like no one cares. We don’t have it that bad, but mostly because we are told to keep our heads down and work hard. So we do. But where does that get us? Thankless hours of labor and work, the model minority myth, abuse that is largely ignored, let alone the abuse that comes with having parents who pass down their generational tra

Where do I begin with this one…. I was not prepared to be impressed by this one, but I was actually pleasantly surprised. I know, I’m usually a D1 hater and make it my mission to read popular books and discuss my honest thoughts which are usually less than impressed. However, maybe, just maybe, my first Reid is worthy of some praise! It's been too long since a genre fiction novel has been thoroughly enjoyable. Basically the premise of this entire book is that a woman marries a guy and then he disappears because of a plane crash and she moves on after a year or two and gets engaged. But the plot thickens when the original husband is actually alive and comes back. She finds herself being pulled in both directions because it’s impossible for her to decide which guy to stay with. Because marriage is serious business, and she doesn't take it lightly that it is her literal husband who just came back. But she loves her current fiancé deeply, so what is a girl to do? There is a lot of

As 2023 comes to a close, I've decided to be upfront with those who know me or follow my reviews or reading journey. I read Welcome to the Monkey House  and Breakfast of Champions , written by Kurt Vonnegut, one of my favorite authors after reading Slaughterhouse-Five and Cat's Cradle in 2022. But I realized after manically reading these two as well as A Man Without Country  that I am not a huge fan of the former two, much to my chagrin and deep disappointment.  Anyone who knows me knows that I love Vonnegut so I was shocked and horrified to find that I didn’t really “get”  Breakfast of Champions . I thought I could get behind any level of zany and eccentric and weird that Kurt could throw at me. I’ve been strapped in since Ice-Nine and Bokononism in Cat's Cradle , since porn stars on planets and plunger shaped aliens in  Slaughterhouse-Five . Throw it at me! But even I draw the line sometimes. What was going on in this book? Even after reading it, I had no idea what I just

This has been staring at me from my shelf for the past two and a half years so I finally grabbed it and finished it in two days. If anything, I'm just glad to be rid of it from my unread shelf. But onto the review: In short, this was enjoyable overall, but did not impress me. The book is written by an author who interviewed the man who this story is based on, so it’s based on a true story, but I think one must take the events in the novel with a grain of salt. I’ve heard inklings that this isn’t completely historically accurate. So fine, that’s not a big deal. But something I noticed was that the writing relies on listing facts and events and feelings that the main character feels rather than an expression of a visceral response to such horrific events that Lale must witness. If the author had been trying to write an autobiography or memoir that’s completely accurate, then I understand why she couldn’t exactly put words and feelings into Lale’s mouth. But she's already taking l

High Fidelity was thoroughly enjoyable. I'm not sure what I expected, but I honestly liked it a lot more than I had anticipated from this novel. It’s so sharp and well thought-out and so so so entertaining. The narrator is the archetype of a normal guy. He’s so unremarkable and not very likable, but I've found in my experience that it’s difficult to encounter any normal guy who’s inherently likable, they need to be pretty remarkable to be remotely likable. So his unlikable-ness adds to his character and even his charm, and allowed me to understand the purpose of the novel. I found that it’s a insight into the mind of a man without an impressive career, love life, or anything really. His parents are just there wishing he'd settle down with a girl, because that's what most older generations sees as success in one's personal life, which is relatable unfortunately. His co-workers are kind of nerdy and annoying, but good-hearted and he doesn't have many other friend

My favorite book when I was fourteen was It Ends with Us . I didn’t read Hoover's other books at the time, but this was when I was blowing through romance novels with no sense of how it may be affecting my pubescent brain or my focus on more important things, like school. I kind of forgot about her until she blew up in 2020, and initially, I was laughing at how everyone caught on years after I had. However, that changed when many began to criticize her, and for good reason. Her writing doesn't always promote the healthiest relationships or depict the most sensible women, or most respectable men. I wanted to know what all the fuss and attention was about in 2021, so I read more of her work and was pretty disappointed, November 9 , Ugly Love , and Confess were all sort of childish and the writing was even quite bad at times. I realized that I've grown out of such novels that over-explain things in a way that isn’t beautiful or insightful the way that Hoover does. I recently

So imagine a thin, white, blonde girl who is obsessed with herself. Then make her mentally ill, deranged, and have the resources to take drugs and do nothing inside of her New York apartment for an entire year. That was the entirety of this book. The narrator of this novel decides she’s had enough of life. She is dealing with a lot of trauma and grief over her parents who passed, who were not very good to her to begin with, something that she touches on multiple times. Many tout this novel as relatable and while not realistic, who hasn’t had the urge to sleep away all your troubles and emerge refreshed and new? But the record scratches, because since when did mental illness excuse casual, random, unnecessary, rude commentary about others, constantly thinking about how much “better” (skinnier, richer) she is than her “best friend” (the only person insane enough to put up with her), and looking down at those not as privileged as her? I kid you not, as she’s in the throes of looking crust

I’m not really sure why I picked this up after reading The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by bell hooks and not really enjoying that either. I guess I am a victim of FOMO above all else. Ultimately, the same qualms I held about The Will to Change was present in this book and more. At least the former was about a lesser spoken about topic, the patriarchy and how we all contribute in one way or another. I valued it more so because there is not a lot of discussion about it in the market and I commended hooks for the venture into the idea. But we’ve heard all there is to hear about love at this point, to write another book where that is the sole topic is a difficult one to execute but I trusted that hooks would give some form of insight that is new or interesting, given that this has been one of the most popular books on the market lately. I even saw in a widely popular bookstore that this has been their best seller for weeks.  While the topic is universal and everyone can rela

Stoner  is one of those books that I have not heard a single bad thing about online. I only ever hear people giving anecdotes about it putting them onto NYRBs, it being one of those books they wish they could read for the first time, it being one of their favorite books or modern classics, that it's so powerful. I've never read anything from the perspective of someone in academia (I'm firm in my belief that The Love Hypothesis  does not count) so when I found this at my local used bookstore, I picked it up, even with the higher than usual price tag than I'm used to. I was hoping to gain some insight on the world of being a professor or academic, and I will admit, I wanted to know what the hype is about and to own my first NYRB. I fantasize about becoming an English professor one day. It’s a far off idea, and nice to think about, but I'm not sure if it’ll ever come to fruition. But then again, most of my dreams are easily romanticized because they seem so unattainabl

The length of this short book was perfect because if it stretched any longer I probably would have gotten tired of it. Each entry in this book is simply a description of a different variation of what time is in a certain world, captured in just a couple pages. The concept was dreamy and at times quite poetic, but the execution felt like something was missing and didn't feel quite as precise or meaningful as I had hoped when I saw that this book is quite acclaimed.  I still remember the day my dad gifted this to me. I was laying in bed after a long morning of sitting in my online summer calculus lectures and I was feeling pretty burnt out. I hate math and it brings up a lot of bad memories and negative feelings. This is a result of my childhood and the years of attempting to beat the intuition and knowledge required to maneuver through mathematical problems and calculations into myself, but to no avail. I had to take the course to complete my calculus requirements for my degree, a B