What the Kids are up to Nowadays

My dad’s old friend that he made before he immigrated to the States came for a visit from across the world. They don’t see each other often, but he was here for some organizational bureaucracy adult-ish things, so my dad happily brought him around town to eat at some local spots. I suppose when you get to that age, the far and few between times that you do see each other, it’s like no time has passed.

There isn’t much in the States that you can’t get elsewhere, besides maybe a 28 pack box of SkinnyPop at Costco and the like. This friend of my dad has a 12 year old daughter back home, and my dad asked in good humor what souvenirs he may want to bring back for his wife and kid. My dad suggested a unicorn Pusheen plush from an overpriced souvenir shop they perused, but the friend balked at the strange creature and bought the plain Pusheen instead. But there was one thing the friend said his daughter wanted from the land of the free that was worth lugging back in her eyes.

Prime. My dad laughed in shock when the friend showed him a photo of the brightly colored bottles. It looks like an energy drink, are you sure your kid wants that? My dad asked, but he humored him and they stopped by the nearest Safeway, a classic American grocery store. Aisles and aisles of options and endless linoleum tiles, yellowy light and sales tags galore. The two middle aged men stared at the neon bottles, unsure of what this concoction was. My dad took a look and realized it was just a hydration drink. He bought his friend a bunch to bring back in his suitcase and himself some too so that they could try it standing outside the store on the concrete sidewalk. One or more of each flavor filled their arms: Lemon lime, blue raspberry, tropical punch, and perhaps the most insidious of all, ice pop.

My dad relayed this story to me, laughing at how much the child loved her “souvenirs.” I vaguely remember hearing of and seeing the drink, but I’m perhaps the most unathletic person that I know, so what do I know about hydration drinks? I did a quick Google search, and it was immediately known why and how this beverage had exploded in popularity in recent years.

Logan Paul and KSI stared at me from the promotional images, looking buff as ever. Internet personalities turned boxing duo or something. My brow furrowed, I scrolled and scrolled, connecting the dots. The 12 year old kid from across the US, with probably very little English abilities, watched hours upon hours of YouTube, watching Logan Paul and KSI shill their collaboration brand to millions of children across the globe, the influence so strong that when her dad went to the US, all she wanted from him was some Prime, around $3 a bottle here, but an easy $10 where she’s from, import costs and such. I drank some out of curiosity and the sucralose didn’t strike my fancy. I guess I really am out of the loop of what the kids are up to nowadays, but Prime drinks were the last thing I expected. Maybe I am getting old.

Jan. 7, 2024.