Cozy Nights In

I’ve been enjoying these cozy nights in lately, with rain pattering outside. The bath is a warm solace; I feel constantly cold. The sensation of my feet freezing as I try to tuck them underneath my body or bed covers is all too familiar. I do a chemical exfoliating face mask and resist the urge to wince from the stinging pain. I imagine it sloughing off my dead skin as I wash my face over the sink with my hands thoroughly, and my cheeks emerge baby pink. I scratch some of my pale yellow nail polish off in the shower and think about painting them a deeper color next, to match the season, of course.

I brush off my mom’s advice about never leaving a candle unattended, field my brother off as he enters my room and tries to mess with me. He flops on my bed, and my weak attempts to push him off prove to be unfruitful. I settle for laying down on the tiny sliver of mattress left uncovered. I hunch over my laptop as he scrolls on his phone beside me, and I try to sift through emails. Who’s even working anymore? It’s basically Christmas.

I furrow my brow at my shelf of unread books, seemingly persistent in its ability to grow faster than I can deplete it. I want an easy read, but all I got are classics. I guess I could read something less serious, but I don’t know if it’ll be very fulfilling. Since when did my tastes change so drastically? A far cry from my juvenile beeline for the YA romance section. Maybe it was when I started worrying about things like eye gel and cream to prevent wrinkles, the cost of public transportation to the city where I will work in the coming year, the health of my family. I try not to think about these things too hard and worry about the steps right in front of me. I want to make my dad cookies before I go back to school after this break. Gotta make a note of that, or else I’ll forget. I’ve been doing more of that lately.

Dec. 21, 2023